Home finally

I came home from the hospital today.  All went well.  The nursing staff were great, but I guess when you are lucid ICU patient, they are a little thankful for that.  I'll never forget P, C, K, A, D, and K.  I hope you are all continue to be blessed with your good work.  I have so much respect for what you can do and the patience that you show.

Worse event:  getting a wrist IV.
Best event:  waking up :)
Second place:  Having 6 cups of jello, 4 popsicles and 2 juices for dinner on Saturday night.  You can imagine how much fun that was with my blood sugar/diabetes, but it was awesome for my cotton mouth that the steroids had given me.

Just had dinner and I am feeling good.  Blood sugar was awesome before dinner, 107, so it seems that the steroids are out of my system.  My vision has completely be restored.  I feel like I have a cold. I am stopped up and tired, but taking it easy, I think I will be like brand new soon.  It amazes me what I have just experienced and how close to normal I am once again.

The ENT placed stints in my nose to correct my deviated septum that didn't get fixed right the first time.  I have to call tomorrow to get an appointment to have them removed in a week or so.

I feel like I have a new outlook on life.  I read a grown-up book while at the hospital and since I'll need to continue to rest, I've already started another book.  I am sure this roll won't last long, but it is nice taking a little time for myself.

Thank you again for all your love and support.  I remained at peace right up until it was time to say by to Hans and I shed a few tears.  I am so thankful God protected me and allowed me to come back to my family.

It's time

I met with Dr. E to discuss the surgery today.  He showed me how he was going to go in, fold back the nasal membrane, and drill a hole through the bone to get to the pituitary gland.  OH WOW!!!!

All in all, I should be done by 3 pm tomorrow in the recovery room.  Once I am awake, they will transport me to ICU to monitor me for the next 24 hours.  Some of the bad things that could happen are blindness or brain fluid leakage.  Neither of those sound very good.  So, my hope is to wake up from the fun, and spend a quiet night in the hospital reading my book.

I'll post when I can, but tomorrow will be a busy day getting ready for the surgery and taking care of a few things before getting to the hospital.

I love you all and thank you for following my story.  It has been a fun ride and Siddy, it is time for you to get off!  Life is going to be so much more when I have you outta there!

Just a few more days.....

First pre-op with Dr. E (ENT) is Thursday afternoon.  Second pre-op with Dr. S (neurosurgeon) is Friday morning before I go to the hospital.

I have just a few days to get things in order and of course, I have no idea how I will get it all done.  It is interesting how "at peace" I am .  I've kept myself busy with work which has helped.  I've kept busy around the house, that never seems to end.

I know I don't express myself religiously very often, but I know God has given me that peace.  I have wonderful family support, friend support, and even stranger support.  I know this is all going to be ok.  I hope it goes smoothly and without any craziness.  I want to wake up and be looking at Hans.  I want him to smile and tell me it all went well.  I know how much he loves me.  He won't be able to lie to me if it didn't.  It will all show in his face.

Two weeks

I am sitting in my office, working on an exam I will give two days before my surgery.  I'll get it graded, then pass my class over to Dr. D.  I'm getting all my course materials ready so he knows what to cover.  I am not worried about that, but he and I both take an interest in our students' learning so it is hard to let go, even for a day.  I trust him the most with my students.

Two weeks.  So much to put in place in my plan for the worst and hope for the best.  I think I'll have a to do list that is constantly evolving.  Glad my favorite way to do lists is on the computer.  I can mark out, annotate, delete, add as things happen....constantly evolving.

Focus and preparation.  That has to be my mantra these next 14 days.  Do what I can to the best of my ability.  I have hope and faith.

D Day coming

I had a few phone calls this afternoon and got a lot of things in place.  My surgery is scheduled for 18 Nov.  I have an appointment with Dr. E on Thursday afternoon so he knows his plan to get into the middle of my head.  I will spend at least one night in the hospital.  If all goes well, I will go home on 19 Nov.

The MRI produced 328 photos.  It is amazing to look at.  I figured out a way to copy my favorites so I could share them with you.  Below, the object in the center is Siddy.  You can see my nose on the left, and the plan is to go in through the nose, get rid of as much as possible of Siddy, and see how I do with him gone.

Pretty amazing how that big blob doesn't belong there.  This is a picture cutting my skull in half..

Now if I look from the top, and again, cut, You can see my eyeballs, the optic nerves going back, and Siddy.  He's glowing for you so my guess is that the dye they inject you with for contrast must be absorbed by the tumor.  So darn cool!!!

So, by Thanksgiving, I hope to be functioning reasonably well.  As Hans as joked, we may be having pudding and pain killers since half the family will be recovering from surgery.

I'm thankful for your prayers and thoughts as our family goes through my surgery and Zane's (tonsil's removed) and give Hans the patience of a saint.  His parents will be coming to stay with us and help us through this time.  I am thankful for them too.

Unless something changes, I probably won't be posting gain until 17 Nov after the ENT visit.  The 18th will be a blur I am sure.  I have a pre-op appointment in the morning, then the surgery that afternoon.  Waking up to see Hans will be the best thing that could happen, even better if I see him more clearly.

More apointments

On a very snowy, windy, icy morning, I met with Dr. S to discuss Siddy's status.  After making sure I was a healthy candidate for this procedure, he told me will be going through my left nostril and removing as much of the tumor as possible.  Because of its size, he may not be able to get it all.

He uses an ENT, Dr. E, to "open the door" and he follows and gets his prize.  The whole procedure will take about an hour and a half.  I will have an overnight in the hospital to ensure everything is good and then I will go home the next day.  After another day of rest, I can return to work if I feel like it.  Not bad.  Of course, things can happen and the plan could change, but right now, that is the plan of attack.

I have to meet Dr. E and let him view the MRI so he can plan his attack on the door (we're going through bone here).  That appointment is scheduled for 17 Nov.  Surgery will be sometime after that, so I'll let everyone know when I know.


After life has gone back to close to normal, I'll get another MRI to see how things look inside.  He will then be able to determine if any additional treatments will need to be done.  Treatments would include a special laser that zaps the tumor (I don't know much on this, I'll learn more if needed).  I will get to have an MRI every year to see how Siddy is doing.  So, my hope was that Siddy would be all gone, but probably some part of him will always be with me.

This has definitely been a fun and interesting month.  I've gone from blurry vision to knowing that I will have a tumor removed from my head.  But, the way the tumor is located, so many other minor issues could be fixed as well.  The hypothalamus sits at the top of the stem that feeds into the pituitary gland.  If the hypothalamus is having trouble working, or getting its chemicals to the pituitary, then the pituitary doesn't work right.  If he is able to get that all cleared out, things might be very different for me.  Siddy, you are a blessing and a curse, but I am looking forward to finding out what the future holds when most of you are gone.

Anatomy 101 (warning: brain pictures included)

My big day with the Neurosurgeon is tomorrow!!!  Of course, Colorado is going to dish out a snow storm for me to endure as well.  I am considering spending the night at work because it is lower elevation and makes the drive to the Dr. S a little easier.  Forecasting 4" to 8" of snow at my house with winds 60+ mph.  Ok, so it is going to be a fun white-out situation.  If I don't go home, then Hans is stuck with the boys and their potential school cancellation, etc.  At least Day Camp will be open so if Hans can slide down there and back home, he can work from home in peace.  :)

Onto the anatomy lesson.  This is a picture from Netter's Anatomy book of the pituitary gland.

It is that onion looking thing in the middle of the picture, with a long stalk thing headed up.  It is the size of a pea, but being the master gland, a pretty important little thing.  According to the Dr. H who read my MRI, the tumor is in a posterior position on the pituitary gland, encasing the stem/stalk thing, and then filling the area up, which is where the optic chiasm is.  The optic chiasm is pretty darn cool.  Your optic nerves from your eyeballs come together near the pituitary gland and Siddy is pressing against it, mainly on the right side.  This is why I am having trouble with my vision in my right eye the most.

In this picture, you can see the optic chiasm sitting on top of the pituitary gland.  The optic chiasm is going into the frontal lobes (top of the picture.  So, tomorrow, I find out how Dr. S is going to get into the middle of my head and remove Siddy.  I am guessing through the nasal cavities.

If you can read the labels in this picture, you will be able to see where the pituitary gland is in comparison to the eye sockets and the GIANT nasal cavities.  My best guess right now is they will go up through those cavities and them go at the thing.  Yes, it is tucked neatly in a nice bone bowl to keep it nice and safe.  Good design.  That little yellow circle near the pituitary is the optic nerve, so a lot is happening in a really small space.

I picked up my MRI disc today to deliver to Dr. S tomorrow.  Oh yes, I tore into that sealed envelope and looked at the pictures.  Freaking cool.  Yep, there was a brain in there.  But I also saw this HUGE mass that I think is Siddy.  Reality is starting to sink in.  Seeing it makes it more real.

I am happy to have my appointment 28 days after my diagnosis.  Seems like forever.  In those 28 days, it has been confirmed and now we move forward to removing it.  I find out all of that tomorrow.  Right now, Zane is scheduled for a tonsillectomy on 21 Nov.  I don't know how that will be affected.  I want to improve his sleep apnea problem so he can do better but I need to get better too.

I don't know if I will sleep much tonight.  A lot to think about and of course worry about.  I'm still trying to put the best face/foot forward until I have a reason not to.  Our little family is doing the best we can with our variety of life issues.  I know God does not give me more than I can handle.  Some days I wonder, but I also know that to be true.

More tomorrow once I've got the next steps figured out.  Siddy, your days are numbered.